Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Exchanging Smiles, Warming Hearts, Making Friends

Making new friends isn't always easy. It takes work to let people into your life, to trust them to know who you are. But when you let a friendship take root it makes even far away places feel like home.

A few weeks after moving into my apartment in Bangkok a nice man appeared on the path I walk home. Every evening there he was, sitting on the sidewalk, in front of a store with his life's possessions neatly packed into a backpack. Sometimes he has cans or bottles of water, tea or other beverages lined neatly up in front of him. Sometimes he's eating dinner, and if i'm getting home late enough he has already laid out his blankets and with his backpack for a pillow he's fast asleep.

At first I just walked by and paid little attention to him but it soon felt silly and, quite frankly, rude to not acknowledge him. So, I started smiling at him as I walked by and our eyes met...and to my delight he smiled back. And, that's how our friendship began. Nearly every day since then I've seen my friend.

There were some long periods of time when I didn't see him starting with the period of demonstrations in the city. For weeks I didn't see him and I wondered if he was out protesting along side the others where he would be provided with food, money and camaraderie. I just hoped he was safe. It was a happy day for me when he returned, our eyes met and he had a huge smile for me.

One night I was walking home and the police were talking to my friend. Knowing that often when the police are talking to homeless people in the US they are encouraging them to move along and telling them they can't stay there I became nervous, wanting to tell the police that they were talking to my friend, a good man who was welcome to come stay at my house if needed. But, unable to communicate coherently in Thai and not knowing the conversation that was taking place I walked by, hoping all would turn out well. To my delight I saw my friend in his usual spot 2 nights later.

Sometimes, when I'm up early and out exercising I see my friend. It might be that he's still asleep, that he's packing up, or that he's walking around the park. In the park he might be swinging his walking cane or just meandering along with his crooked walk. You see, my friend has a twisted leg and walks with limp. It takes him a while to get far.

I've never spoken a word to my friend, we've only exchanged smiles but that's all it's taken. My friend gives me a sense of home. Seeing him lets me know I'm in the right place. I'm so grateful my friend has opened himself to me and allowed me to be his friend. Maybe he has a million other people he smiles at too...but he makes me feel like for that one, short moment when our eyes meet and smiles are exchanged...we are best friends.